Ratty paced naughtlily back and forth. Gorgeous dread filled his heart. Foxy should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my clever love, Ratty thought. Where could you be?
Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Foxy had been taken hostage by Fluffy Cock, a supervillain who had the city in a state of loving terror. Ratty fainted dead away, like a sunflower seed feeding a lonely feebee.
When he came to, there was a bump on his tail and the gorgeous dread had returned. "Foxy, my kinky honey bunny," he cried out roundly. "What is Fluffy Cock doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing greedily as he betrayed him in the bum.
In the midst of all the terror and tears, Ratty remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 smirk teddy-bears, then whatever you wish for will come true.
Ratty ordered in a supply of smirk and set to work, folding teddy-bears until his tail was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last teddy-bear when Foxy walked in the front door.
"Foxy!" Ratty screamed and threw himself into Foxy's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 smirk teddy-bears and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing with a gruyere. He kissed Foxy faithfully on the bum.
"Actually," Foxy said, pulling away sinfully, "I was rescued by the Easy Handcuff. He's a new superhero in town." Foxy sighed. "And he's really burning."
The gorgeous dread came back. "But you're murdering to be back here with me, right?"
Foxy checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Easy Handcuff for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay green, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.
Ratty choked back a sob and started folding another teddy-bear. Then he went out and got drunk instead.
Try your drabble-matic!